


Tapes For Them

by 131Shaw



Category: The Handmaid's Tale (TV), The Handmaid's Tale - Margaret Atwood
Genre: Other
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-06-24
Updated: 2019-06-24
Packaged: 2020-05-18 23:42:15
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 2
Words: 613
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/19345084
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/131Shaw/pseuds/131Shaw
Summary: I'd like to think that June made tapes for her daughters as well as Luke so I put together what I thought she'd most likely say to them.





	1. Hannah

To My Hannah Banana,   
Your name is Agnes now, Agnes McKenzie. I do not know the name of your parents only that their last name is also McKenzie. You might question how I know this or who I am. You may not remember me. I hope you do and I hope you don't. I have no wish to be a dark cloud in your life but neither do I fantasize of being forgotten. 

I try to imagine what you look like now, a woman grown. For surely you will be one if you ever hear the words I speak to you today. My Hannah Banana, do you remember when I used to call you that?  Can you remember the sound of my voice? I wonder if you picture me for an instant, if the image comes unbidden in the cover of darkness. If I flash before your eyes before you dream. 

I drive myself to the brink of insanity with these questions. I want to know you as I once did. Do you have children? Boys and girls in their pale pink and baby blue. I hope so. I hope He has given you that, spared you the pain that set this nightmare into works. 

My Hannah Banana, I hope you are happy, wherever you might be. I need you to know I'm sorry. I will never give up on you, on us. I hope you never hear these words, I imagine a future of us together, far away from this hell. I have to believe that's still possible. 

If you are listening to this, I love you. I will always love you. I did everything I could, know that to be true. I love you. 

Mommy.


	2. Nichole

To Holly Nichole Blaine, 

At this moment in time your name is Nichole but I named you Holly, after my mother. She was a hard woman with a steely determination for a better future. But better never means better for everyone. I lived in a cloud before, wrapped in cotton wool, eyes closed. Gilead has awoken me. 

I need you to know that not a day goes by that I don't think of you and wish that I was there. But I had to stay. I don't expect you to understand but please try. I am in a position to do something, even if that something is small and incomparable to the somethings of others. I am part of the change. I don't do it for gratification, if anyone found out... I do it for you and Hannah. I do it for all the Handmaids and the children they bear. I do it for the young girls who will never know what it means to love, read, write. To thrust yourself into a world of endless possibilities and forget the horrors of the one we live in. 

To the many I am nothing, a woman in red, replaceable. Forgettable. But to the few I can be a lifeline. Hope. If you are listening to this it means my journey began and ended within the barriers of Gilead. I hope you never hear this, I hope I am with you. I hope I made a difference. 

You have every right to be angry with me. To curse my existence. I'm sorry I'm not there to guide you in life and love. I am in no position to ask anything of you but here I go. Be loud and unapologetic. Be heard. Live your life to the fullest. Get drunk and dance the night away. Experiment and laugh and memorize every moment. Find your happiness and cling to it.   
I love you. I will always love you. 

Mommy.


End file.
